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"Why Not Go Out on a Limb? That's Where the Fruit Is."

"Why Not Go Out on a Limb? That's Where the Fruit Is."

I was asked a few months ago: "How did you end up deciding this?"

Fair question..  In reference to how I decided to up and leave New York and float around with just about 0 planning.  

Easy. Truly the simplest answer I could respond with:

I just did.  

Okay, so that doesn't really help explain anything at all- especially to someone who's quite interested in doing the same, but hesitant to make the jump.  I really don't have a perfectly clear answer for this question the more I thought about it.  

Have you ever just known that you needed to do something?  It didn't matter what obstacles were going to be put in the way- because of course there are going to be obstacles, and usually more than one- There is a goal, you see it, it's totally, completely clear, and everything in your body is saying this is what is going to happen whether it comes easily or not.  

This doesn't have to be traveling, this can be absolutely anything:  a job, a degree, your first marathon, finishing writing a blog entry.... 

In my case, I knew it was something I wanted for close to a decade.  I started dreaming of Italy in 2007 when a girlfriend of mine suggested we study abroad for a semester (neither her or I were very proactive at making things happen clearly). 

Then why did it take so darn long to pull the trigger?

It was never right (nor was it wrong), but I had to wait for everything to align for me.  I think that all the time spent dreaming of something I wanted to do was fuel for the fire.  Then all of the times I said I was going to do something in the future finally got under my skin and I got fed up with the 'someday's'.  

Not only that, but what a learning experience it has been.  I've thought to myself a million and a half times that things like this were not possible or realistic.  And why?  Who says it's not?  Maybe upbringing, society, media...  I will say that I'm glad it took me so long to realize this because I can see 20:20 now into my past.  And that's friggen cool.  I can't even smack myself for the less ideal decisions because they were such a giant part of bringing me to where I am now, and who I am now.

Here were my top reasons for never making big things happen:

'I don't want to ruin this relationship';  


'I need to have a ton of money to be successful at doing this';

or lastly, but maybe most importantly,

fear (this one deserves its own blog).


Yea, I know- It's about boys.  Always about boys.  I was so scared that if I left for more than a few weeks, a relationship would crumble, no matter who it was with.  What a lame excuse, huh?  And since I never allowed myself to be single, I never had that push for me to do ME.  And money; I allowed it to rule my life, always thinking that if I had more I would be happier (though it's clear now, at the most broke I've probably ever been in my life, I am also at my happiest- money to happiness correlation: nil)

I do truly believe that the best way to learn anything fully is to do it and then look back on it with clear knowledge and say, 'man, that was really stupid'.  Because I'll venture to bet that way, you'll be sure to never do it again. 

I digress... Too refer back to the tidbit on alignment I mentioned before.  There are a lot of times where you just need to power through something to get it done (think: research paper due in 2 hours, will it be your best work? Likely not.), but then there are times where the best thing to do is wait until it's right.  How do you know when it's right?  You'll know.  It's a feeling.  If I were to do this 7 years ago, I would be powering through it half heartedly, maybe missing home, missing my significant other/flavor of the year, not being able to appreciate the full experience because I was never living for myself.  

When I found myself single, moving from apartment to studio to rented room to cottage and then finally back home to Mom and Dad's (ouch), I realized that this life of mine can only be lived for me.  I couldn't continue living for someone else.  My poor little cup was so empty because I kept filling it up for someone other than myself.  

And you bet your boots it's full now- it's overflowing.  

Set your sights on something big.  See it, feel it, embody it.  Then be patient.  Know when it's right for you, the universe will conspire to make it happen for you (ah, the famous Alchemist quote).  I am in no way saying sit back and decide you're going to just let fate dictate your actions.  You are the creator of your own destiny, but there has to be heart in your actions, not strain. That might mean changing some things in your current life to make it happen, to find alignment in your emotions, mentality and actions.  

Whatever it may be, whatever goals you have- if you want it bad enough, never give up on the dream.  Keep it in the forefront of your mind and develop patience around it. Feel it in your heart. Keep it close and notice how your actions begin to align with reaching that goal.  Because, hey,

"Why Not Go Out on a Limb? That's Where the Fruit Is."

-Mark Twain


Dhanakosa- a Buddhist Retreat

Dhanakosa- a Buddhist Retreat

Pura Vida!

Pura Vida!